As a first time father, I was subject to a whole host of new experiences and human-to-human interactions. I was searching for an outlet, a place to express myself and document my experiences, but nothing I felt like a good fit for me. Then I realised that the answer was under my nose the whole time. The solution, a (sort of) commit history. Define.family is the resulting collection of pseudo code snippets I wrote to describe (and understand) my child’s (and 2 years later, children’s) behaviour.